NEW EATING DISORDER DISCOVERED

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News Flash. It’s been revealed that naturalists are mounting a major push to add the iconic American crow to the endangered species list. They point to alarming declines in the crow population in many sectors of the United States, but especially in those areas surrounding the major urban centers on the East and West coasts.

They attribute this drastic decline to an “eating crow” binge by liberal mainstream media pundits that started with the surprising election of Donald Trump and has continued unabated during his recent string of successes - a growing economy, more jobs, record low unemployment, lower taxes, rising wages, strong GDP growth - to name just a few. 

The Trump Administration counsels that rather than standing in judgement and severely criticizing liberal media pundits for their overindulgence, we should instead feel sympathy for them and make every effort to help them come to grips with their eating disorder.

It’s been recommended that a special safe zone be established for all those suffering from this devastating malady. It will be staffed with grief counselors to help them through this very difficult and highly emotional period.

Old Man Rock